I have been getting started with Teri Johnson’s new book Overcoming The Nevers: by Gardening Your Life and Nurturing Seeds of Truth
In order to overcome and experience true freedom, Teri Johnson suggests that we need to decide to let go of past hurts, regrets and pain. How have you done this in the past? Were you successful at moving on? Are there things you are still holding on to that keep you from enjoying true freedom?
Gosh, who hasn’t had boughts of disappointment and despair? I know I certainly have. It seems like with my last 2 pregnancies (not this one, thankfully!) I have lost several friends due to rocky relationships and completely different hopes and goals for the friendships. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. I cried myself to sleep night after night and felt SO alone. I would ask my husband through huge sobs, “Am I really SO bad of a person that NO ONE wants to be there for me? I’m not worthy of caring at ALL? I’m not worth the time to be a friend?” He would assure me that I was a great friend, they were the ones missing out, and that I wasn’t alone – I had my family.
Family is what I hung dearest to during the rough times. I still cried at night, but during the day, I stopped moping and crying… I had to be strong for myself, my kids, and my unborn baby. Was it hard? Oh my gosh, it sure was. Did I make it through? Thankfully, I did!
I still look back at those times with sadness, anger, regret, disbelief, and disappointment. However, I can see NOW that it was just part of the journey that I am on. Through those trying times, I was able to find out more about *myself*, what I wanted from friendship relationships, how much I was willing to “give” and what I wanted to “get”. I walk into friendships now with openness and do not have random expectations – I make my intentions known and let folks take it from there. If they’re interested, awesome. If not, no loss because I know that I’ve put it out there and am letting the other person decide if they want to pursue the friendship on those terms.
I also take things a lot less personally now and take action if I feel like maybe there was just a miscommunication. For example…. If a mom friend says she can’t make it to something I was really hoping she’d make, I take it upon myself to try and reschedule and have HER pick the time/place. If she is resistant to it, I take it as a sign that maybe she isn’t seeking that kind of closeness form the friendship and I back off. I’ve found that a lot of women just want social friends – one on one makes them uncomfortable or they just aren’t interested. I respect that and have begun to realize that it’s probably not ME, but maybe their own baggage or goals for friendships. Not that big of a deal!
What about you? Have you been able to let go and move on from past issues?
Check Teri out on Facebook for more awesome inspiration. 🙂
I love the awareness you’ve discovered on EXPECTATIONS <-- we really need to manage them, approach things with a pure heart and pure motives...if things don't pan out the way WE would like...we can pick up the acceptance tool, do some reflection and determine how we will move forward. GREAT example about the friendships...you are right, there is NOT a problem with you, we can't take on other people's "stuff" and to take things personally will keep us stuck believing lies about ourselves. It is NOT fruitful promise land living. Thank YOU for sharing your reflection…. =) Keeping it Personal,
Teri Johnson
I lost a friend under very odd circumstances. I cannot seem to let go of the anger caused by her betrayal. I’m not sure it keeps me from enjoying my daily life, but I do think there is bitterness that affects me in a negative way at times.
You better know that I am a REAL friend who is always willing to make time for you and be there when I can. You are very loved!