I can hardly believe it. Time passes by so quickly.
One year ago today, I walked into a boring, sterile, quiet building. I was alone, and my husband was at home watching our other children and taking half a day off of work. I was crying inside. I was nervous, felt like throwing up, and I REALLY had to pee. I mean REALLY had to pee. I was told to drink a ton of water prior to my appointment so that I would be able to see my baby. MY BABY. My 6th pregnancy, and hopefully my 5th living child.
My goodness, I was so relieved and felt incredibly blessed to see this little blob of a person on the screen. Not only that, but I got to see the little heart flickering. This baby was measured, and matched up perfectly with the hunch I had about my dates, which was not at all like my “last period” placed me at. I was due November 2nd.
People ask me all the time if I ever planned on having so many kids. No, I really didn’t. If you would have asked me any time between childhood and about age 20, I probably would have told you I planned on having 2 kids (boy/girl twins if you asked me as a kid!) and that I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. That was the loose plan I had for myself. Of course, plans change.
I hope to write out the birth stories of my first child, Grace, and my third child, Heath. Both of them were traumatic and yet so important to me at the same time. I have already shared the VBAC birth stories of Michael, Charlie, and Ethan. Maybe one day I will share with you the story of the miscarriage that I had prior to having any of my living children. That experience has completely changed my life and added a real fear to each subsequent pregnancy.
One year ago today, I was reassured with the knowledge that the baby growing within me was thriving, healthy, and developing normally. I got an estimate of when I would get to meet a special new person to bring into my family. I got the joy of carrying pictures of my unborn baby home with me to tuck away until we decided to tell our other children.
One year ago, my life changed. Today, I have a beautiful 4 1/2 month old baby and a full heart. Today I have hope for the future and more admiration for the man I married than I ever knew I could have. Today I have five precious children to nurture and care for each and every day.
I am exhausted. I am touched out. I am so over the busy-ness sometimes. No matter what, though, I am blessed. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.