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Boosting Girls Self Esteem #GirlsUnstoppable (Giveaway!)

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Teaching girls to have a positive self esteem is so important.  I remember when I was a teen, and I always thought that I was too _____.  Obviously, the thing that filledin the blank was always changing based on my perception of what was perfect.  Sometimes, in my mind, I was too short.  Sometimes I was too fat.  Other times I was too plain.  Still others I was too clumsy.  On really bad days, I was all 4 and thought I was so imperfect that I thought no one even liked me or cared about me.  Self esteem LIES have to stop.

Please note that this post has been brought to you by Dove® and Kroger.

dove-self-esteem

Parenting My Daughter

My daughter is always giving me lessons in self esteem.  I guess some of what I’m doing as a parent is sticking – at least for now.  You see, she is such a sweet girl that she boosts my self esteem.  The other day, I asked her if I looked good when I was on my way out to an event.  She said that, yes, I did look great, but that it’s really not about looks.  Another time recently, she told me that I don’t wear makeup very often.  I told her that she’s correct and I just like to look like me.  She nodded in complete understanding and told me that I look great with makeup or without makeup.

I’m hoping that her words are transferring over to herself, too.  My daughter is just 8, but there have been numerous times when I’ve heard neighborhood kids bully her or say something that seemed to stick.  For example, she was really impressed by the girls that told her that she looked like she could be 10.  She was not so impressed by the kids that told her she was too skinny.

For now, she is a strong fighter.  She is self-assured, mostly confident, and pretty open to just being herself.  She is unique and proud of it.

Boosting Girls Self Esteem: Statistics and What YOU Can Do to Help

Over 60% of girls avoid certain activities because they feel bad about their looks.
For example:
• 19 % won’t try out for a team or club
• 23 % won’t go to the beach or pool
• 13 % won’t give an opinion
• 15 % won’t go to school
(‘The Real Truth About Beauty –
Revisited’, Dove Global study, 2010)

Looking at magazines for just 60 minutes
lowers the self-esteem of over 80% of girls
(Dr. Raj Persaud, Consultant Psychiatrist,
Maudsley Hospital)

Dove® has compiled self-esteem statistics (including these), as well as great activity ideas and projects for parents, teachers, mentors, and youth leaders to do with one girl or a group of girls.  Check out Dove Self-Esteem Toolkit.  On that site, you can even customize the information you receive based on the girl’s age, your role, how many girls you will be working with, and different self-esteem topics!

I love the 1-on-1 Activities for Girls, Ages 8-12.  There are excellent ideas that are super easy and all about having fun and spending time together in a positive way.

Moms, why not host a “Just Us Girls” night with your daughter?

Kroger Dove Self Esteem

In the same way that eating dinner together each night brings a family closer, spending even one hour one on one with your daughter can boost her self-esteem significantly.  Moms are such a big influencer on their daughters.  No pressure, but this is where we, as mothers, should be making a really good impression upon our sweet girls.

Kroger & the Dove® Self-Esteem Project

Kroger is working together with the Dove® Self-Esteem Project to help reach more than 15 million girls with self-esteem building programs by 2015.  They have reached 11 million so far.  Every purchase of Dove® products at Kroger will help girls around the US to reach their full potential and truly feel good about themselves!

What are YOU doing to create some unstoppable girls?  Tweet this and answer it: “Girls are unstoppable when…#GirlsUnstoppable” and connect with others on the same mission!

It would be incredible to create a generation of girls that look into a mirror and are pleased with what they see.  After all, looks are such a small piece of the puzzle.  Who each individual is as a person is so much deeper than appearance.  Even so, all girls deserve to feel beautiful and special.

 Giveaway!

One lucky reader is going to win $15 of Dove® products.

*All you have to do is comment below with how YOU already do or want to do to help your daughter or other girls in your life to feel good about themselves.

*For a second entry, please tweet about this post and leave a link to your tweet. 🙂

One winner will be chosen from all entries received by 11/10/2013 at 11:59PM Central.  US only, 18 years of age and up, void where prohibited.

Good Luck. 🙂

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About Jenn L

Jenn lives in Fort Worth, Texas with her husband and 5 children. She is definitely real and quirky in person and on the internet. Jenn has been homeschooling her kids since 2009.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Neely says

    I want young girls to stop comparing themselves. I hate seeing these teenage girls thinking they all must be the same, dress the same act the same. Its horrifying. I want my future daughter to love herself for who she is…I was the weird quirky kid and I like to think i still am 🙂

  2. Rhiana Wackenhuth says

    I make sure to boost both of my daughters self esteem by reminding them not only how beautiful they are, but also how incredibly smart they are. I remind them that there is no one else like them, and that they have to just remember to be who they are and not who someone else may want them to be!

  3. Shauna Braun says

    I try and not talk bad about myself in front of my daughter. I am trying to break the chain that was passed down to me.

  4. Charlotte says

    I love this post as I have lots and lots of nieces that are just hitting the puberty stage and I know how hard it can be as a girl to feel like you MUST fit in, but as a mom of two growing boys, I have to add that we have and are working so hard to tell girls that they are perfect the way they are, but the boys are often left out of that equation.

    I have two completely different boyish characters in my home. I have a brain and I have a brawn. They both sometimes struggle with the DNA and characteristics handed them and we frequently have conversations about enjoying and embracing who you are. Just like the girls we have the struggle to fit in and I think it is becoming increasingly evident that while we have made decent well-needed strides in boosting girls up, we are losing the boys through those cracks now. I am not criticizing this great blog post or even the wonderful marketing campaign of the Dove brand, I am in complete agreement that there are still glass ceilings women must break, but I am worried that in our girl-centric age, we are going to look back in a few years and wonder where we went wrong with boys as well.

    • Jenn says

      I have 3 boys, so I totally hear what you are saying! 🙂 Yes, I have a video game whiz, an athletic kid, and an aggressive 18 month old that I hope ends up being athletic to channel all of that energy. 🙂 We have VERY frequent conversations about how everyone is different, and that is okay. We talk about not feeling like we have to change for others to like us.
      It’s one thing to grow and change as an individual, but it’s quite another to try and fit into some unrealistic mold that you perceive as acceptable to others.
      Great point about both boys and girls! 🙂
      Jenn recently posted…Boosting Girls Self Esteem #GirlsUnstoppable (Giveaway!)My Profile

  5. Liz says

    I don’t put emphasis on hair/make up/being skinny. I granted mine is only almost 4, but I focus on her attitude and her heart and how beautiful those things make a person.

  6. Deanna says

    As a mother of a boy I like to remind folks that we need to be just as careful with the messages we send our boys. I’ve caught myself saying things in front of my son that I feel like I would be more careful about with a daughter. Boys have eating disorders and body image issues too and I had to remind myself of that.

  7. April Kelly says

    I try to teach her to be herself, and she totally is. I am sure you’ve seen her style. Anyway, I think I learn more from her about being confident in myself. When I asked her the other day how my hair looked with this headband, her response was, “does it really matter how it looks?, does it feel good, because that is what should matter.”

  9. Gidget Pettey says

    I try to remind girls in our church that they’re worth is NOT in others but through GOD. God made them and He made them beautiful.

  11. Stephane F. says

    I tell my daughter that it’s okay to be her and she should not have to feel pressured to be anyone else because there is only one of her and she should be proud of that. Being unique is a benefit in itself. She marches to the beat of a different drum and I love that about her. One of a kind. 🙂
    Stephane F. recently posted…Help A Small Business Win a GrantMy Profile

  12. rachel says

    By showing them that they don’t have to pick just any guy that likes them. They need to have standards!

  13. Ally says

    I try to make sure that the women (of all ages) in my life understand that self worth is not based on appearance. I encourage them based on their efforts and achievements and make sure that they know I think they’re wonderful, no matter what.
    Ally recently posted…ThankfulnessMy Profile

  14. Violet says

    My daughters are both toddlers, so I tell them every night that they are special and smart, and that Mommy loves them very much. I compliment their kindness and silliness to let them know that they are beautiful to me, inside and out.

  17. Becky VanGinkel says

    I have 2 girls and every day I compliment them on things besides their beauty or appearance. I like to tell them how smart they are, how organized they are, how driven they are, ect. I think girls take those compliments to heart more than they do when they hear “You’re so beautiful”, or “Your hair is so pretty today”. I also make sure to spend one on one time with each of our children, our son included, so that they can express their individuality because our 3 children are all so different!

    babydjs_mom@yahoo.com

  19. Jessica To says

    I have been having dinner with a group of girls at church one night a week. They are such a joy and I just try to listen to them and have them open up to me.

  20. Pam H. says

    I have a goddaughter and a niece. I try to uplift their self esteems by praising them when they do well at school, sports, etc. I tell them how much I live them and how proud I am of them. I want them to know I value them and our relationship.

  24. latoya says

    I don’t have any kids, but when I was a girl my mom used to always compliment herself in front of me and encouraged me to do the same…I totally believe that this helped him have such high self-esteem.

  27. Sharon says

    positivity — no gossip about other girls, no bullying, no cutting each other down even if it’s in the name of ‘fun’ — words are powerful things

  32. Kym says

    So far my daughter (who is 12) is confident and secure in who she is, and I hope she can hold onto that especially as she goes into her teen years where the pressure to “look like _______” gets more intense. I try to focus on encouraging her and praising her for the things that she can control and that are character traits, rather than on flattering her for her looks. After all, she doesn’t have much choice when it comes to the color of her eyes and hair, or how tall she is etc. She does have control over how she styles her hair, how she dresses, and how she carries herself; so I would rather tell her that I love the way she’s styled her hair and the outfit she put together, than just a generic ‘you’re so pretty’. And of course, character matters so much more than looks – she’s even observed that she considers people who are happy and kind to be better-looking even if they are physically “plain”.
    Kym recently posted…Coincidence? I Think Not. {In God I Boast}My Profile

  34. Mya Murphy says

    I would stress to them that they are beautiful and smart and tell them that if ANYONE disagrees, tell me and I’ve got their back!

  36. Regina says

    I tell my daughter she is beautiful both on the inside and out…She is a very compassionate young lady.

  37. Kathleen says

    I tell her all the time how beautiful and smart she is. I make sure that she does not give up.

  39. Kirby says

    I don’t have a daughter yet, but I have four younger sisters. Getting behind them to support what they want to do, and giving sisterly encouragement!

  40. Kim says

    I just want my daughter to have self worth and to know that no matter what, she’s beautiful. God made her as she is and that she should respect her body. Our family supports each other and their talents and gives out lots of praise.

  41. Lauren G says

    I will always work to have a positive self image myself and to do things honestly and ethically, I would want her to grow up and believe she is already beautiful on the outside and will need to strive to be beautiful on the inside every day 🙂

  43. ashley c. says

    I want to make sure they have opportunities to explore and become their own person’s with their own unique looks and interests. I also try to make sure we focus on personality more than looks.

  44. Naomie says

    I remind her that true beauty is from the inside, I am very supportive, and keep communication open.

  45. Michelle Koerner says

    I try to tell my 3 daughters at least a couple times every day that I love them, and that they are.. beautiful, or cute, or pretty, or gorgeous. It makes them smile everytime. They are such open loving girls, they will walk up to daddy and I and give us hugs and kisses, or tell US I love you.. or the newest one: Mommy? How’d ya get so cute!

  47. Kathy Hanley says

    I help and encourage my teen daughter by setting a good example! I exercise and eat healthy and so does she. I also get involved in activities and volunteer and encourage her to do the same. Whenever she was ever hesitant about trying something new I was always right at her side to support and cheer her on.

  48. Ambrosia Ross says

    I’m working with the girls at church know they don’t have to depend on their looks, their perfection, or their friends to be beautiful and confident. They need to be loved and praised unconditionally, while still learning that their choices have consequences.

  49. cynthia brandon says

    my daughter is 13 and we talk daily, we home school her so we spend lots of time together, she is incredible and I continue to discuss issues that affect her!!

  52. Sarah Z says

    I remind my daughter of how special she is everyday. That she is unique, smart, a good friend and other fantastic qualities that make her my favorite girl in the world.

  53. alisa says

    i want all the girls in my life especially my new niece to feel loved and worthy and special and feel like they belong in this world and i want to make sure I tell them how special they are everyday so i can build their self-confidence.

  54. angela s says

    I try to help my daughter by keeping a positive attitude about everything, especially body image!

  56. Heathe Zeh says

    I praise her everyday whether it’s on looks, school, behavior…i always tell her how good and proud i am of her!

  60. Teish says

    My mom always used to say, “Pretty is as pretty does.” I explained it to my daughter like this:

    It doesn’t matter what you look like, if you are not nice and kind to people then no amount of looking pretty will make up for that. It’s how you treat people that they will remember the most.
    Teish recently posted…Daybook for November 4thMy Profile

  61. Lilith Katz says

    I have a niece that is a bit of a tomboy and other girls tease her because of the things she likes. I encourage her to be herself and let her know that I liked many of the same things when I was her age and that I still do. I let her know that she is smart and talented and let her know that it is ok to be herself.

  62. Amy Cook says

    I teach my daughters to play to their strengths rather than trying to make up for their weaknesses. I’m also honest about my weaknesses and point out how I use my strengths.

  63. Dawn Hecke says

    I always tell my daughter how beautiful she is and praise her when she does good in sports and school.

  66. Maria Kiguthi says

    I try to encourage my nieces to feel good about themselves by emphasizing what they are good at not what they look like. For example one of my nieces is a wonderful pianist and another is a great soccer player.

  67. KELLY MCGREW says

    teaching EVERYONE to not be so materialistic and always thinking thaat having the newest things are what’s important. what is important is embracing natural beauty and being a beautiful person inside and out!

  68. Krystal Dunlap says

    I always tell my girls how smart and pretty they are. I also always tell them what a good job they have done.

  73. Sara Filler says

    I am a teacher and I’m very careful not to down myself in front of my students and I always make sure to give them as much attention and praise as I can

  77. Danielle Jones says

    I always say beauty is on the inside. Outer appearances change over time but what’s on the inside will always be there.

  81. kathy dalton says

    Young girls today should not be so tough on themselves. They are obsessed with weight to the point of harming themselves. We need to tell them ow beautiful they are

  82. Jo Ricker says

    I tell my daughters (I have 4 daughters and 1 son) every day how wonderful and smart they are.. I even tell their friends this as well. I let my daughters have glitter tattoo parties and nail polishing parties. They love getting together with their friends.

  84. Melissa B. says

    I always compliment my daughters’ appearance and encourage them to try everything that interests them at least once.

  86. Marsha says

    We remind our daughters that they are healthy, strong, and blessed. Our bodies can and will change but we are amazing humans who have the ability to function. Not everyone is blessed with health or born without physical disability. We might like to be taller, shorter, thinner, heavier, have straight hair, have curly hair…. but we are God’s magnificently created people. Also when we talk about a celebrity or someone who is beautiful, we always try to mention their character (ie Carrie Underwood) and/or their work ethic to have that look. We also talk about airbrushing and how anyone can improve their “look” with the right team of experts and that most people do not wake up looking like they do on tv or in a magazine.

  88. Glenna F says

    I never talk bad about my body so that my daughter does not hear it. If we hear someone talking bad about themselves I talk through it with my daughter and make sure that she knows she should love herself because that is how god made her.

  91. Alicia Sparks says

    We talk about skills and actions, rather than looks, and we don’t use the word “fat” when referring to anyone.

  92. Kristin Sawatzke says

    I tell my daughters all the time how beautiful they are and to not compare themselves to others! Girl’s are so hard on themselves now days and its sad to see.

  94. Holly S. says

    I have a daughter and I want her to know that she can do anything! We foster a very feminist vibe in our house because girls need to grow up with not only a feeling of equality to males, but also to realize how awesome they are themselves.
    hstorm799{at}gmail{dot}com

  96. Regina says

    It’s so incredibly important that we continue this conversation. I am blessed with 3 nieces and each of them has a different body type. One is almost always jealous of the other for the way they look. It’s a blessing when this happens to be able to have an open and honest conversation with them. Explaining that we are all different but are all blessed with different attributes. At the end of the day, everyone is smiling…they are all beautiful INSIDE and OUT….and that they are who they are. Never compare yourself to another

  97. jenna tomaszewski says

    tell her she is capable, she is beautiful but she doesn’t need to sit around and be rescued.

  98. kathy f says

    I like to give them compliments about their accomplishments or behavior, instead of how they look.

  99. Robin House says

    I teach my children how important they are and their divine nature. I want them to know they are beautiful inside and out.

  101. Kathlyne says

    I tell all my nieces that they are beautiful, good people. I let them know that what kind of person you are matters more than what you look like and I value them for that, not their looks.

  102. Laura says

    It’s not always easy, but be a good example of just enjoying how you look no matter what. It’s definitely easier since I met my husband, and I hope in the future when I have kids I can be a good role model for any girls I have and be able to not only give words but show by example.

  103. Vanessa says

    I try to be a positive role model by the way I live and always keep lines of communication open so they can talk to me about anything.

  104. tracey johnson says

    i just encourage the girls to be kind to themselves and to others. i let them know they can be anything they want to be.

  107. wendy b says

    I give them positive praise for their intelligence and accomplishments instead of focusing on how they look or their bodies. I also watch what I say about myself in front of them.

  108. Latrecia says

    I homeschool my daughter and also praise her long natural hair. She was self conscious watching shows like The Disney channel so not only do we not have cable anymore, but I also wear my hair natural so she can see we were born natural beauties!

  110. Marissa M says

    Young girls to worry less about what society says is wrong with them and rather focus on all of the truly wonderful traits they do have!

  111. laurie says

    I always tell them to believe in yourself and no matter what no says or does your important and can do anything you want with hard work

  113. Amy Honious says

    we have always told our daughter (now 20) that beauty is not measured by weight or clothes size. it is so difficult in this day and age….she is very intelligent and seems to understand but has had problems. society and the media make it quite hard to raise confident women. thanks for the message and the great giveaway!

  115. Nichol Tone says

    I have 4 beautiful girls and support and love them in all they do and remind them daily that they are beautiful and talented

  116. Misty Deatherage says

    I want magazines to not make their models look unreal. I try to help my daughter feel good about herself but I find it is sometimes hard with all the advertizements telling her different.

  117. Jeni Mitchell says

    My nieces, who are seven and four years old, know that there is no such thing as boy jobs or girl jobs. They understand that they can be anything they wish to be. They know they can wear whatever colors they choose to wear, the same as any boy can wear pink. They also know that all people are just that, people. They know that everyone is equal and deserves to be treated with respect, including themselves that they need to respect themselves.

  120. Brenda says

    It is important to me to let me nieces know how clever they are, how special they are, and how important they are. I have them list what makes them special and I add to it their list every once in awhile.

    Thank you for hosting the giveaway!

  121. Ashley Metzger says

    I love to compliment the ladies around me. There are endless genuine compliments you can give to anyway, you just have to take the effort. It’s worth it!

  122. beatriz says

    I never speak poorly about myself in front of my daughter. I always tell her how smart and worthwhile she is!

  125. Sue Hull says

    When my daughter was younger I always told her how beautiful she is on the inside and outside.I gave her praise when she did a great job or did her very best. I always and still do tell her I love her everyday. I taught her that it doesnt matter what people think of you, it matters what you think of yourself. I tell to just be pleasing to God. She has grown into a confident and comfortable in her own skin young lady. She doesnt put up with anyone’s crap. She is such a good friend Just always tell your child how great they are and they will grow up to be great adults. Thank you 🙂

  128. michelle gilliland mcafee says

    I make it a point to tell my nieces how great they are and how proud I am of them.

  130. Prickly Pinecone says

    I like to leave little notes around my nieces room or in her bag with words to encourage her and make her feel good about herself.

  131. Randi S. says

    I teach creative writing to a twelve year old and a thirteen year old, both girls. Just this week they were depressed because they felt ignored by the “popular” girls, never getting invited to parties, or always being left out at school activities. I asked them if there is a possibility that other girls feel the same way and I asked them to identify those other girls. Right away they came up with the names of several other “left out” girls. I asked them to make an effort to single out those girls at the next school function by going up to them and saying hello and smiling. I was so happy when they came to class the next day to tell me how they reached out to those other “ignored” girls. I told them, if you feel sad because you weren’t invited to a party, then make your own party! This last Friday night, they did exactly that and invited a group of other left out kids to a party at their home. It was a great lesson on how we don’t need to wait for others to make us feel good about ourselves, we have that power within!
    Randi S. recently posted…Learning to Slow DownMy Profile

  132. Tammy Woodall says

    I think it is so important to reinforce how special and unique every girl is. In today’s society, there are so many places and influences that make young girls think they have to look a certain way in order to fit in. It’s important to take the time to explain how their own uniqueness is so very special that they do not have to look to the media or to friends – to know that they are who they are and do not need to look elsewhere for them to be beautiful inside and out. I have a niece that I’ve tried to reinforce these ideals into. Thankfully, she shows an inner strength to realize the truth of what I told her.
    Tammy Woodall recently posted…IXL.com for Math and Language ArtsMy Profile

  134. Shawn says

    I have always tried to instill in my daughter that she can do and be anything. I think that it has worked because she is a very strong self confident young woman.

    shawn113(at)hotmail(dot)com

  135. Jay Ramond says

    As a RA for young college women, I encourage them to confront beauty standards are what that means. As well as facilitating a safe zone in which we are valued for what we bring to the table, not how we look sitting there.

  136. Lisa Neutel says

    My daughter and I have spa days and spend time together talking…I tell her about inner beauty and to not worry what others say … We have great bonding time and I’m always helping boost her self esteem …

  138. Jen says

    I teach my SONS to treat women with respect, and I try to make sure the focus in my family is always on behavior and what’s inside–not looks.

  141. meme says

    I tell them it doesn’t matter what other people think about you. It matters what you think about yourself and that you believe in you no matter what any body else says as long as you work hard and give it your all you can be what ever you want to be and accomplish what ever you want to accomplish. True strength and beauty comes from within and how you act and what you do that matters the most.

  147. ashley perez says

    i would tell her that everyone is different and special in there own way and there is no need to compare herself to someone else

  148. Noelle Cagle says

    I DON’T make comments about her body, except positive ones like how healthy and strong she is.

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