When Weight Loss is No Longer the Goal

For basically my entire adult life (since having my first kid at age 21, anyway), my world has sort of revolved around my weight.  During pregnancy, it’s all hyper-focused on weight gain, both for myself and my baby.  After pregnancy, there’s this race to shed the pregnancy pounds and feel “normal” again.  Now that I’m not planning on having more kids and I’m pretty much at a healthy weight…..now what?  What happens when weight loss is no longer the goal?

I’ve been part of many DietBet weight loss competitions.  Basically, you bet however much money ($20, 30, or even much more) that you can lose a percentage of weight within a given amount of time.  You can do the Kickstarters for 4% in a month or the Transformers to lose 10% in 6 months.

They did a call for beta testers last September to do a Maintainer.  For this one, they originally started it to where you could lose no more than, I think, 4% of your starting weight and could go no more than 1% above it.  They’ve changed this over the past few months, which is the beauty of it being in beta, but the basic idea is the same.

Some months, I’ve weighed in a pound or two higher than my starting weight, but still squeaked by.  Some months, I’ve been a pound or two lower and fit right in with my target range.  If you “win” the round, you get your winnings back each month.  For the first several months, all of us players were basically breaking even at $12.50 a month, but the past few months, I guess we’ve had some folks start to fail because my winnings for April were almost $14.  The largest pot is the very last one, which is equal to half of everyone’s initial investment for the year.

Some months, I’ve been something like 6 pounds over my highest weight I could still be to “win” the round and had to work hard to get back to a reasonable weight before it was time to weigh in!  That’s when I got serious with taking out the senseless carbs, crazy amount of grains, and unhealthy sugar.  It’s amazing how just a few little tweaks can melt away that extra water weight and bloating.

Now weight loss really isn’t my overall goal.  I’m basically just living my life and then doing a reality check sometimes to get back on track.  I’m not worrying about every little thing.  I’m not in freak out mode all the time.  I’m not obsessive.  I’m not worried about the numbers as much, because I’ve got a range and not a goal to get down to.

How nice it is to be able to go out to eat and not lose it with the choices.  Since I’m being realistic, but giving myself grace, I have so many opportunities to eat what I want.  I’m also not having to feel guilty when I don’t make it to the gym to work out.  I don’t have to stress if I’m taking enough steps every day.

I’m able to just focus on how I feel.  How my clothes fit.  My moods.  My energy levels.  My sense of well-being.  I’ve decided that now that I’m off of the weight loss wagon, those are the things that are most important when it comes to my body and my weight.

That once a month weigh-in holds me accountable, but I am no longer stressed out about the number being the lowest.  If I’m feeling good, my clothes fit well, I’m not yelling at my family all the time, I’m not feeling hangry all day long, and I’m feeling enough to keep up with my 5 young kids, then that is good enough for me.

I’m learning to enjoy my life – no number needed.  It all goes along with this year’s theme – The Year of Me and my recent realizations while learning to love me.

When I have time to take care of myself, I am finding that I’m a better wife and a better mother.  I’m nicer to these people I love so much.  I’m more generous with strangers.  I’m more forgiving with friends.  The little worries of the day are less significant and the day to day treasures are so much more precious.

I am worth so much more than I thought I was, and not for the reasons I thought I was important.  How weird is this?  What is this, wisdom?  Now I’m feeling kind of old.  I like it. 🙂